As an author, I am a witty, charming, observant, and kind person who is wise beyond his years. However, as a not quite published and mostly unknown author, not enough people are aware of all that. They simply haven’t bothered to find out.
So, until the day I receive my due notoriety and praise, I will have to settle for answering questions that have been posed to other, more famous authors, in this feature: Author Q&A.
Today’s interview was originally conducted by The Believer magazine in 2005 with Miranda July, noted author, filmmaker, and artist.
So, I don’t know how to do these things, and I imagine you’ve done way too many, so I’m just going to give you options, OK?
Um, sure! Though I haven’t actually done any of these things. Well, one, but it was a fake interview for my blog. Ha. So that doesn’t count.
Here are the choices. I can try to ask actual questions—well, I had some questions prepared, but then I accidentally dropped them in the mailbox today, on the way to work. I was mailing some postcards, and I was really focusing on the mailbox, and I don’t know what happened—whatever, so they’re in a mailbox on Allston Street. But I re-prepared them from my memory. So, option one is actual…
Questions. Yeah. Got it.
Right, good questions. Or at least semi-good, you know, like: “Could you trace a path from the Big Miss Moviola project through your own work and now this film?”
[pause] I’m sorry, what?
And then option two is things like, “So that final scene with the son, it sorta seems to suggest this, but then I kind of had this theory that it’s sorta like that—what do you think about that?”
Uh. Is there another option?
Really, the second kind is harder?
It’s not “harder.” It’s just … is there a third option?
And then option three is like, “Hey, have you heard that new Sleater-Kinney album?”
You mean Wild Flag? Yeah. I really, really like it. I guess I’ll go with this op—
How was that?
How was … answering the question? It was okay. But you interrupted me.
But this new album is so not old.
[long pause] I think maybe I’ll actually go with the first op—
Of the first kind, so then we can go into the others—Nice, perfect.
Yeah.
OK, how about this: In the past you’ve worked in a wide range of mediums, but you chose to do this project as a film, and in some sense a fairly straightforward film—at least, not overtly artsy. What were some of the advantages to doing it like that, and what were some of the limitations?
Is this, like, a prank? Like a joke? I don’t get it.
Were you aware of that being kind of unorthodox?
Yes! Very aware! So is this a prank? Or are you really just that bad at this?
Did you—wait, did you think you were an adult Latina woman?
[sigh] What’s the angle here, dude? Do you actually write for the magazine? I’m probably going to hang up here in a second.
What else? Shouldn’t I make you explain some things? Do you have a whole lineup of interviews today?
Okay, now you’re just being an asshole. Actually, no you were being an asshole the whole time.
Oh, no—I just don’t want you to feel cheated if I don’t ask questions like—
I feel cheated! I already feel cheated!
OK.
“OK”? Not, like, “sorry”?
Maybe we should just do a couple more real ones, just in case, OK?
What do you mean “more”? There weren’t any real ones to begin with.
Oh really? Then forget it. Who cares? We have a lot of good stuff.
What?! No. No no no. I’m retracting this interview. Do not publish—
Oh yeah, I’ll make it sparkle.
You’re a dick.
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