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Does stress keep you awake at night?
If so, it’s time to make the switch to a Cash Number bed! Cash Number beds are the ONLY beds stuffed full of warm, soft American cash, the most comfortable and reassuring mattress material in the world.
A Cash Number bed is a nightly reminder of just how lucky you are to live in the most prosperous nation in history. Even in today’s tough economy, most Americans live a life of opulence and ease unthinkable to the vast majority of human beings ever born.
When you lie down on your Cash Number bed (and pillow set!) at night, you’ll be falling asleep in a pile of the best money on earth. How decadent! How luxurious! How much better is your life than pretty much everyone else’s since the dawn of man!
Mattress materials such as springs, foam, or air may support your weight, but can they lift your spirits? No! At least not like a giant piece of furniture made of paper that represents your incredible, soothing wealth.
So: What’s your Cash Number?
The Washington Series
Imagine relaxing on $1,000, $2,000, or even $4,000 of your own personal moolah. Are you getting sleepy? Then our classic Washington Series is for you! The W1,000, W2,000, and W4,000 offer bountiful comfort at an easily affordable price that would nevertheless be a gigantic sum of money in at least half the countries in the world. Since this level of monetary comfort isn’t enough to fill a Cash Number mattress, your Washington series bed will be filled with a supple currency blend of fluffily inflated foreign currencies from nations you’ve never heard of—and of course plenty of cozy $1 bills.
You’ll sleep like an American baby.
The Jackson Series
Is your Cash Number a bit more … well, simply a bit more? Then enjoy a new level of snuggable capital with our Jackson Series! The J10,000, J25,000, and J50,000 are enormous nightly reminders of just how good you’ve got it. Filled with a premium currency blend of $1’s, $5’s, and of course $20’s, along with some high denomination Asian bills that look like play money, the Jackson Series beds are perfect after a long day of working hard but not being murdered by roving militias or contracting dysentery.
You’ll sleep like an American baby with a womb-sounds noise machine.
The Benjamin Series
Do you need the absolute greatest sleep ever had by a human? Then look no further than the Benjamin Series, our top line of ridiculously ostentatious cash cocoons. With the B100,000, B500,000, and B1,000,000, it’s all about the Benjamins. This is our only line full of one-hundred-percent American tender—and it’s tender, alright. These are the best piles of money that money can buy.
You’ll sleep like an American baby sleeping on a huge mound of $100 bills.
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So visit our Web site at www.cashnumber.com, or visit one of our Cash Number stores located in Federal Reserve banks around the country! All Cash Number beds are handstuffed right here in the USA, probably by someone with less money than you.
Cash Number—you’re literally in the money!
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